in you, do not resist.” The transformative initiation had begun, the capitulation set in. That was the beginning of a new life for me. Slowly and imperceptibly the change had to take place.
I thus placed my hands and my head on her lap, and felt helped to open up my heart freely to her. Day after day, for more than three weeks of my stay in the Ashram, I used to see a squirrel coming from the eastern side on the parapet wall of the main Ashram building to see the Mother during balcony darshan. It was both regular and punctual. On days when the Mother would be a bit late, this tiny devotee would return and synchronise its coming with the time of the Mother’s arrival. In fact, I would be assured of the
of the Mother’s arrival when I would see the squirrel coming towards the balcony jumping and running over the parapet wall. Hearing this Mother said, “So you have observed it...” And continued to the effect, “many great souls come to see the Divine in different bodies. It is not unusual. They come disguised as tigers, huge serpents etc.”
She then recalled one of her war-time experiences. During the war, she remembered, a mother and her two children had died of shell-shock. Because of intense fear they underwent a change in their form. In their new guise—that of a cat and two kittens—they would not move out anywhere. Obviously, they were still fear-struck, and remained secluded. The Mother continued, “Seeing this I intervened and assured them of safe dispensation.” The mother-cat then brought her young ones, one after another,-and placed them at the Mother’s feet. The Mother in her infinite com- passion absolved their fear and restored to them their original forms. This incident was narrated by the Mother when I put her the questions whether human souls after death take forms lower in the scale of existence. She made it quite clear that this does not happen. It is possible that souls because of karma might gather around them movements and desires which exercise a drag upon them, and do not easily allow them to take new birth necessary for their progress. The departed souls thus keep lingering in some region close to the physical until the many movements and desires clustering around them do not get absolved. And this happens, she explained, when they, gain entry into some kindred medium, animal or sub-human, for satisfaction. This is the general rule; a conscious change of form is only temporary, and for a special purpose.
Another important item on the agenda was my Ph.D programme. After the disillusioning experience with the Divine herself, I had lost all my confidence both in the veracity of choice of the subject as well as my capacity to complete it to the satisfaction of university academics. Unhesitatingly, I confessed to the Mother, “Truly speaking I do not know even the basics of the subject, let alone its scope and its philosophic range. I feel myself utterly unequal to the task. I neither have the required intellectual training nor the necessary spiritual acumen to do justice to the subject. Only Your Grace can come to my rescue.” The Mother gave me an encouraging smile. Emboldened by her affirmative gesture I pleaded, “Mother, if only You sit with me and help me to write that I can venture to undertake to accomplish the work. I will be only Your most inefficient scribe.” The Mother put both her hands upon my head and blessed me. The real work was already over, the rest was merely a ritual. I fell on her lotus feet and did pranam to my heart’s content. I had inadvertently exceeded my allotted time-limit, it was well over twenty four minutes. From the exit doorstep I turned back, and once again, fell on her radiant feet, and did a long pranam.
Yes, she is truly the Mother of infinite love. She is here to give us all a living, conscious perception of the Supreme. She is the first and the final initiation as well as the supreme consecration. Verily, she is the embodiment of the Lord’s Love among men and upon the earth. Armed by her Grace, and enthused by her Blessings, I then returned to Hyderabad.
Within the next one year I gathered as much material as it was possible and started writing the dissertation. I would get up at 4.00 a.m. and after finishing my chores sit at my desk at 4.30 a.m.
